i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize