the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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