he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
