i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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