I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize