i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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