dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
