Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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