why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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