Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize