i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this will be a night to untag.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize