Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
