Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
