____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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