i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
