Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
