Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
