dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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