just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
pray to the hookup gods
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize