Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
