I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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