escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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