Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize