Please don't use social media to get back at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
