Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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