It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
