just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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