Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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