I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
