He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
