hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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