Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
