something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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