I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
