when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
