hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
