How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
