I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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