I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
