My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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