Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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