Your mouth is God's brothel.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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