it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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