whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
