She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
