I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
