I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
