I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
