Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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