Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
