Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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