The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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