like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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