New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
