So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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