She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just tell him i said nine months
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
