I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
